The New York Times recently reported a new collective fear in America about our safety. It appears that many people now fear the ordinary–going to work, eating out, sending kids to school.
One woman mentioned in the article is instructive. It seems that a woman in Massachusetts has decided to have children in the next ten years, and has decided to home school them because she already fears for their safety. Her decision to home school is an effort to feel safe by manipulating or avoiding the external world. This will not work.
What would it take to make this woman feel safe? Would we have to ban the automobile since cars kill far more people than terrorist attacks? Would we need to outlaw hurricanes, earthquakes and tornadoes? This would not work since the cause of her fear is internal.
Of course we should all be prudent. That’s why we use seatbelts and endure security checks at the airport. Yet with all the appropriate precautions, public and personal, some people, like our example, still feel unsafe.
Why?
The difference is what I call the “interpretive lens”–a way of looking at and interpreting the world. This lens is influenced by real or possible events and our own lived experience. Sometimes our emotions as well as cognitive distortions so affect our interpretations that a person says “I know my fear is irrational but this is how I feel.”
Facing the truth helps properly order our perspective. The more we face the truth, both social and personal, the safer we will feel.
