Donna Wilson and her partner Greg Fletcher have been together for 11 years. She said having his support during her journey with breast cancer has helped a lot.
(Elizabeth Gabriel)
Surviving breast cancer is no easy feat. It takes a toll on your physical and mental health. But a new analysis shows that having a satisfactory relationship can lead to better physical and mental health for survivors.
Donna Wilson was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, a common type of breast cancer, in 2022. Now she’s cancer free, and Wilson credits her recovery to God, her doctors and her partner.
“It was very tough for me of course because I've never been through anything like that,” Wilson said. “Fortunately, I do have a strong village and had Greg there with me.”
Greg Fletcher is her partner of nearly 11 years. One of the ways the couple spends quality time together is by watching television shows and movies –– that’s if Wilson can keep her eyes open.
“If I'm watching something she's not interested in, she pretends to be interested and she'll be [sleeping halfway in],” Fletcher said.
But Wilson does her best to redeem herself.
“I’ll wake up every so often and say, ‘Okay, what happened?’”
They say the time spent together nurtured their relationship and helped Wilson in her cancer recovery.
A new analysis of research on nearly 400 people shows that breast cancer survivors who have a satisfactory relationship and are in agreement with their partner are more likely to have better emotional and physical health. On the other hand, those who were in less satisfactory relationships experienced negative health impacts, said Dr. Eric Vachon at Indiana University and the study’s lead author.
“There was worse depression in those individuals who had worse satisfaction between the survivor and their partner, and then fatigue. And they also had poor overall quality of sleep,” Vachon said.
Women of color, especially Black women, are more likely to experience these symptoms.
The research is based on a data analysis of a larger study that was completed around 10 years ago about breast cancer survivors’ wellbeing. They used answers from surveys to measure an individual's relationship satisfaction and how agreeable couples were to determine how those factors could potentially influence physical and psychosocial outcomes.
The upshot is that strong communication is key.
“Optimal communication is necessary to support a healthy relationship, quality of life, and continued success in managing cancer and its treatment,” according to the study. “When communication is poor between a couple dealing with cancer, this may lead to a number of relationship concerns, including...resentment, poor coping, holding back of feelings, and avoidance”
But Vachon’s study does have a few limitations. There was minimal diversity among race and the gender of people who had breast cancer and socioeconomic diversity. The lack of socioeconomic diversity means researchers couldn’t tell if someone's inability to access mental health care was the reason their depression was worse.
The impact on partners
The study is unique because it examines relationship concordance on various physical and psychosocial outcomes, and it includes breast cancer survivor's partners, which most studies don’t incorporate. Doing so can be more time intensive and costly. But he said their perspective is important because the stress of supporting a breast cancer survivor can also take a toll on a partner.
Fletcher said as Wilson was going through chemotherapy, he was also starting to feel some of the same side effects.
“One afternoon, I just had this chlorotic smell, couldn't get away from it,” Fletcher said. “And then, you know, there were times I just felt tired. I didn't know why I was feeling tired. And so, [the doctor] said it's a possibility of side effects.”
That, coupled with potential issues with intimacy and sexual functioning, can change a survivor’s dynamic with their partner, said Becky Nappi, a licensed independent social worker with the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.
“People can experience caregiver burnout because of some of the changes in the roles and the routine, some of the caregiving responsibilities on top of managing things that you're already managing, like work. There can also be some of the financial stressors,” Nappi said.
She said some people have to continue endocrine therapy or hormonal treatments for potentially the rest of their life. So, beating cancer isn’t the end.
“And oftentimes, that's when you've got family and friends saying you're a survivor,” Nappi said. “You made it through treatment, but you're still dealing with the emotional effects you're dealing with.”
On the flip side of that, the experience of breast cancer can be a catalyst for some people to reflect on their life, work and relationships.
Alex Murray, a psychologist with the Cleveland Clinic’s Breast Center, said reassessing your family dynamics can lead to positive change and hope.
“I think they're being able to kind of reflect on the cancer experience as one that could absolutely be traumatic, but can also lead to post traumatic growth,” Murray said.
Donna Wilson and Greg Fletcher have put in the work to make sure they have a happy relationship, partially so Wilson can stay in good health. It’s been about five months since Wilson’s last hormone therapy and things are still going strong.
“I would have made it through it,” Wilson said, “but you know, I think that him being here made [a] world of difference.”
Medical professionals recommend survivors and their partners engage in strong communication, set boundaries and be compassionate with themselves and their partner.
Contact WFYI’s health reporter Elizabeth Gabriel at egabriel@wfyi.org.
Side Effects Public Media is a health reporting collaboration based at WFYI in Indianapolis. We partner with NPR stations across the Midwest and surrounding areas — including KBIA and KCUR in Missouri, Iowa Public Radio, Ideastream in Ohio and WFPL in Kentucky.
